I’m honestly sick of school. I switched majors and now my anxiety is kicking in thinking that I made the wrong choice. And now? Now I’m left wondering what to do about all my desires and “dreams”. 

Get this. We’re told to go for whatever makes us happy. No matter what kind of job it is, as long as it makes us happy. No matter how little it pays, no matter how poor you are because of student loans. But then, we’re told to dream big. “The sky is the limit”. But how is it that I feel my limit has already been breached? 

To begin with, I never wanted a job. My mom was a wonderful stay-at-home mom, and I aspired to be like her. It took me three years to think outside of the box in order to to be independent. I realized I don’t want to soley depend upon one person, nor do I want that person to carry the financial burden alone. Man of the house or not, I am determined to help. But I’m so lost as to how to do that. 

My first major was physical therapy. I chose it because I could get out of there in 3 years and be done. But as time went by, the more I worked, the more I realized I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of being hands-on with people. I am naturally a reclusive person. I have my bubble, and I prefer it be respected. Plus, I got scared of the huge exam you have to take in order to determine your fate in that career. So, I decided to go into helping children. I changed my major to social sciences. I was planning on being a social worker. My family has dealt with a lot of pain and heartache through CPS, and I figured I’d be able to help kids get into really good homes. Unfortunately, I’m not so sure I want to deal with CPS anymore… And I’m just altogether confused on the subject. 

However, every time I think about going to school for photography or journalism, I get extremely happy. That’s what I love. I love taking pictures, I love the idea of being creative in an office writing a Cosmopolitan piece! But I also love helping people. How can I get a good job, helping people with photography and journalism? It seems impossible. 

The money is where there are people in need. They are in need of therapists, doctors, nurses, businesses, etc. And technically therapists shouldn’t be up there. They don’t make nearly as much… 

So what to do? Change my major once more? Stay in college even longer? What job could I possibly get? How could I get it? How many years of school do I need? What should I do? 

All of these questions left unanswered.  Some may say that time will tell, but I fear I’ve only wasted time so far. Such are the struggles of a poor college girl…. Thanks for listening. 

Till next time.